Ranch Dressing & The World Cup

America already knew it was great, why didn’t Hidden Valley prepare for it?

Hidden Valley’s Ranch’s General Manager Nick Higgins was quoted in the Wall Street Journal saying, “I never would have thought this”

Before later commenting, “It was going to be ranch’s time to shine”

Ranch is reached for twice as much as Caesar dressing in the United States. It’s a god damn staple yet the guy who’s supposed to be King Ranch was surprised when sales started spiking at the World Cup? Dude, come on. I guarantee you Nick Higgins tightens his bra strap and does his makeup for the Super Bowl but didn’t think the World Cup would drive sales? Or stadiums might need an extra supply of ranch dressing?

You only had fans from 47 nations (USA is #48) traveling from all over the world to experience America, who’d a thunk it? Not Nick Higgins. Dude you have one job: sell ranch dressing. That’s it!

If you’re one of the morons who pays for news like I do, check out the story in the Wall Street Journal.